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luni, 29 martie 2010

Fake and True

Bleeding thoughts,
broken words,
dreams are smashed,
I fake a smile pretend it doesn't hurt.
I fake a laugh,
I shed a tear,
I wish I had someone near.
I hide the cuts on my wrists
where I cut deep to bleed out my pain.
I fake a smile, glued on my face so no-one can see my shame.
All day I wonder how it would feel to be dead,
would it be better than these racing thoughts going through my head?
People think I'm happy, and that I love life.
They're so wrong.
I can't handle another night, I can't fight another fight, I can't survive another day.
I cry myself to sleep
I feel like I'm wearing a disguise
everything hurts,
nothing comforts,
the days are long,
I wish for some words,
some encouragement,
some happiness,
someone to say "I love you"
and that i'm worth something.
I don't know what keeps me going,
but deep inside something does,
I'm holding on as long as I can.

- by Cold

My mind

This pain I have inside of me, ripping and tearing so viciously
These screams echoing within my head, I'd much rather die instead
Do you not see me or understand
Beckoning you forward to take my hand
Follow me and you will see, the fear and anger quickly consuming me
Pulling my hair, pulling my clothes
I fear not death and all of it's woes
Left behind is a trail of lies
A kind of presence that never dies
Inevitable death to those who seek
Comes on swift wings, no time to think
Banging my head against the wall
Who is it that I wish to enthrall
The world? My kind?
Pain is all that I find
No time to rewind yet caught inside my own mind
Cannot gain lost time, sends shivers up my spine
You've heard my tale, now you'll see
My mind is a maze
A solution to which there can never be

- by Cold

marți, 23 martie 2010

Spilled

Faster than one-thousand, razor edged blades...
Overwhelming relief floods and purges through my veins, colder than the blood of a snake.

A smile that changes...everlasting existence.
Through a watery grave of tears.
A deeper weakness buried beneath my strength,
and leaving me with nothing to fear.

Survival, redemption, forgiveness and hate.
the past, though consuming,will soon dissipate.
The dark shadows of doubt, reminders of the evil that was good, pushed under a tidal wave the way that they should.

As I cast you away, I pull you in with seduction.
My eyes now empty, cut you to size, a noticeable reduction. I hear you and feel your pain, yet I have no remorse, as you drown in the sorrows of your rain.

I am to be remembered. Try to forget me, from your memory, erase my name. It's my face that will haunt you and you shall never be the same.

- by Cold

duminică, 14 martie 2010

For you babe

Such satisfaction
feeling so satisfied
longing no more
nothing needed
just you

Dreams fulfilled
expectations met
wanting no more
heart so full
just you

All I could ask for
prayers answered
emotions electric
flaming soul
just you babe

- by Cold

In you

In You..
I found my forever and my friend..
Someone whom I can confide..
Someone whom I can believe in.

In You..
I feel the essense of truth and eternity..
So rare and unique to find..
But in you it happened so naturally..
Love so gentle and so kind..

In You..
I have my dream come true.
Beautiful yet so simple.
A love the world can't break into.

In You..
I see a beauty so peaceful yet so alive.
Delicate yet strong..
Commited to our will to survive.

- by Cold

luni, 1 martie 2010

Captive

Somewhere tears are falling
in a place where angels cry.
I listen to the torment
in the echo of their sighs.

The disturbed visions
of a tortured dreamer.
Troubled laughter
from a haunted screamer.

Going down
a spiral stair
never-ending,
yet not there.

Echoes shattering,
falling down,
though deafening silence
is all that I’ve found.

Stone walls do not my prison make,
iron bars make not my cell.
A prisoner of my own mind,
I’m trapped within myself.

- by Cold

Exile

I’m cloaked by the shadows of the demons in my soul.
They hide in the valleys with the light that they have stole,
as I walk in the darkness of the void that makes me whole.

Wondering when Surrender comes if my white flag will fly,
as I wait for this moment like I’ve waited my whole life.
But freedom from this torment won’t come freely when I die.

Condemned to spend eternity suffering with the Damned.
No hope for survival, for I am dead where I stand.
Yet still fearing exile, because this is what I am.

- by Cold

For Alice...

Drifting in a deep, dark, endless slumber, I slowly fall beneath a black blanket of
despair.
I float helplessly between the walls of anguish and dishonesty, troubled by the
mistakes of my efforts.
Hopelessly I hang my head to the tune of a tattered heart and tired mind,
snapping my fingers to a beat of none existence, that flows quietly through the
lonely air that I inhale reluctantly.
The light at the top of this distress tunnel is quickly fading away and I have no
desire to reach for it again.
Faith is growing weary and right before I close my eyes and surrender to my own
defeat, hands of a magnificent girl grips me tightly, raises me up and sets me in a
place of pure ecstasy.
The song of my heart soon changes and molds my soul into a loving beat sung
over by a powerful choir.
She unintentionally restores my trust, hope and faith and unaware of her great deed
She continues to smile, a smile that assures me that love really does truly exist.

Behind every shadow shines a light. Thank you for beaming on me.

<|3 nothing ever lasts ... I'm sorry , goodbye.

- by Cold for Alice